2010 March minutiae

  • I've lost count of how many times I've had to start a voicemail message with, "Hello, I'm trying to reach $NAME... I sure hope I have the right number... the number I was given was $NUMBER..." You know what would be cool? If only there were some sort of, I dunno, like an outgoing message for voicemail that would allow you to verify to callers that, yes, this is the number for $NAME. That would be so awesome.

  • boston.com: Gunman troubled, friends say. Once people start referring to you as "gunman," isn't the fact that you're troubled pretty much a given?

  • Bought a couple of pairs of "extra-long socks designed specifically for boots," or, as we used to call them back in my day, "normal socks."

  • It occurs to me that I may not have mentioned that my writing credits include a series of introductions to Cal-Mex food that you can find at every location of what is now the largest taqueria chain in London, England.

  • abcnews.go.com: A 25-year-old schoolteacher was arrested Friday night after fleeing Nebraska to Mexico with her 13-year-old suspected lover. Okay. But then, this subheading: May-December Attraction. 13 and 25 isn't May-December! It's April-June.

  • I got a new pair of glasses recently. They look almost exactly the same as my old ones, but the prescription is a little different — it's weaker, actually, as the optometrist said that my previous pair was an overcorrection. And I don't know whether technology has advanced since 2006 or whether it's just the fact that they're new, but, man, this hydrophobic coating is basically magic. Two pairs ago after washing my glasses I had to wipe the lenses dry. One pair ago I had to dab the remaining water beads with a cloth. With this pair, I don't have to do anything. Hold them under the faucet and they come out completely dry.

  • Turned on a basketball game at mmod.ncaa.com and heard one of the announcers talking about a school's seeding history: "They've been a 14, a 13, and everything in between."

  • I looked through the Tiger Woods text messages that were released by that porn actress and saw that he was quite fond of the phrase "me to." Thus proving that even AOL has stricter admissions standards than Stanford.

  • Jed York: I wish nothing but the best for he

  • comment on Talking Points Memo supporting Nancy Pelosi: We know who where's the pants in this party

    Coincidentally, "Where's the Pants?" is my least favorite Clara Peller porn movie.

  • Elizabeth says:
    I am too suggestible
    Elizabeth says:
    If I see a picture of a french fry I want to eat a french fry and if I see a depressing movie I want to die

  • With March Madness having rolled around again, I found myself remembering listening to the regional final between George Mason and Connecticut as I drove east on Highway 9 through Hadley on my way to Amherst. One problem: that game was in 2006. I left Massachusetts in 2005. And yet I could see the Whole Foods and Wal-Mart go by on my right as I listened to the play-by-play in the Ratmobile. Where could I possibly have really been? Where do I go in California that I could ever mistake for the Pioneer Valley? Fortunately, I remembered that I still had my appointment calendar from 2006, so I looked up the last weekend in March. Apparently that afternoon I was driving to a GMAT class in Pleasanton. Which does mean taking the highway east through fairly open country to a strip mall.

  • Another thing Facebook has taught me: there are people out there who seem compelled to take several pictures of themselves every day, or at least get several pictures taken of them every day by other people. And then post them. "Here I am at 7:30. Now here I am at 7:45. And here's me at 7:50." I had my picture taken for my book jacket in 1999 and then took another one for my passport in 2009. Throw in the still from Get Lamp and that pretty much covers it in terms of pictures I have of myself. Maybe I would want more if I were prettier. Though I'm still not exactly sure why.

  • various news outlets: Ricky Martin Comes Out. ...Ricky Martin was in?

  • I went to Berkeley Bowl and found the following:

    Six-pack of 8 oz. cans of Hansen's ginger ale with high fructose corn syrup: $2.99

    Six-pack of 12 oz. cans of Hansen's ginger ale with cane sugar: also $2.99

    So... people are willing to pay 50% extra for high fructose corn syrup? I guess all those commercials paid off!

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