- The history class I'm auditing is held in the room where my calculus
class was held my first semester in college, and apparently there are
still math classes taught there, because the board is often full of
The instructor of one of these classes writes the letter x as a pair
of osculating half-circles, sort of like this:
- In my class the instructor ended one lecture by talking about the
right of capture in regards to oil, which holds that if a pool of oil
lies beneath two properties, then the owner of one property can install
drilling equipment and drain the entire pool, depriving the other property
owner of that resource.
I kept waiting for him to refer to the "I drink your milkshake" speech
from There Will Be Blood, but he didn't.
And then it occurred to me: if the students in this class are 20, that
means that that movie came out when they were 12, and as it is not typical
fare for 12-year-olds, maybe they wouldn't recognize the quote!
Even though it seems like just the other day that you couldn't leave your
house without spotting a couple of people wearing "I drink your milkshake"
- I heard a radio commercial for a diamond retailer that boasted that
its young staff allowed it to stay on top of the latest industry
trends — for instance, "geometric shapes are 'in' this
Um… are diamonds normally cut into shapes unknown to geometry?
- So I was walking down the street and I saw this sign:
And then as I passed it I looked at the other side:
I guess on Mondays they only let you in if you speak Spanish.
- My landlord had warned me that a handyman would be coming by to look
at the steps leading up to my front door — apparently they'd
begun to rot.
Here's how that went:
- knock on door
- I open it
- handyman is there
- he crouches down and looks at where the steps join the house
- he says "GYAAAAGGH" in disgust
- he stares at the spot for a while
- he says "IT'S BAAAAAD"
- he says "that's all I gotta look at" and that I can close the door
I hope that's not how people react to the Ready, Okay! ebook!
(…Which is out now! Go buy it!)
- knock on door
- Sign you stayed up too late into the night editing: "Oh, shit, that's
two apostrophes in a row. Better flag that."
(a long moment passes)
"…wait, no, that's a double quote."
- I went to the Monterey Market and glanced at a rack full of bagged
nuts as I headed into the store.
As I walked to a different aisle, I had the following mental monologue:
"'Organic Awakened Almonds'. I wonder what that means."
"…Wait, that doesn't mean anything. Obviously I misread it. Clearly it must have read 'Organic Evaporated Almonds'."
"…Wait, that doesn't mean anything either! Buh! Now I have to go back and look at it to see what it really said or this will drive me crazy."
So I did. It turned out that the bag said "Organic Awakened Almonds". "Awakened" in this case is apparently a New Agey term for "sprouted".
- One of this month's viral news stories was that an underground bunker
in Tift County, Georgia, went on the market for $17.5 million.
Reports indicated that the facility "can withstand a 20-kiloton nuclear
Perfect for surviving World War III!
Provided, of course, that World War III happens no later than 1948.
- From the script a non-player character in A Mind Forever
Voyaging follows, courtesy of
…45 minutes? Dang, how big was that sandwich?